Wow... Lecture phase finally ended... I still can't believe it feels that short. Well our speaker is an Australian, but lives in India, so he dressed like an Indian. Imagine that... Well our whole week is basically about thinking outside U.S. goggle. What I mean is to basically try to see outside the U.S. culture. Our speaker, Graeme, knows what it's like in the front lines of the mission. He seems harsh, but he just wants to make us realize that we're fortunate to be living in U.S. But in general I love the way he teaches, not just that it's out of the ordinary, but it also challenges me to think. I haven't been using my brain for a lot of thinking and this week just got my brain started again. It's exhausting, but I love it.
Graeme gives us case studies that we need to discuss as a group. Personally, it challenges me a lot. Some of it goes against of what I believe in, but I need to learn how to adapt to the situations. Graeme is a person who process everything before he speaks. People would think he's a quiet person, which is true, but he also got a lot of things to say. Graeme speaks only when he needs to.
Graeme is also a cooker and he loves to cook. He bakes a lot of cookies for us during our class time. He also made some Indian food and last time he required us to eat it with our hands. And since it's thanksgiving, Graeme also helped with the thanksgiving feast. The thanksgiving feast was really enjoyable. There are parents that came to see their child in DTS and the homeless people who we invited. It was just a massive celebration, it's my first time I guess having a REAL Thanksgiving day and I enjoy it.
Schools are out in holidays, so there's no basketball ministry. Outreach in San Francisco is starting this week. I can't wait for it to happen already. Lectures have blessed me so much, and now it's time to use those blessings to bless other people. So I hope you guys would be praying for me and intercede for me.
I also ate lemper. If you're Indonesian, you should know that. I think that's the best food I've eaten so far in my time in San Francisco, other than mie goreng. I saw some people from back home and they prayed for me, which made me really happy. It was good to hear that people actually supports my being in San Francisco. My ministries here are the same as what you guys do over there. Me being here doesn't mean that I'm better than all of you. I just seem to have more opportunities, but our ministries are all the same, and that's to just to show God's love to other people.
So this is it... First week of going to outreach. I don't know what to expect, which I somehow like. Since I don't know what to expect, God can just blow my mind with what He wants to do. I have no plan of what to do, and that leaves Him more room to do something. Last, but not least, I'm thankful for God, and my family. I'm also thankful for the support that you guys have been giving me, whether it's financially or spiritually. I really am. I'm having the time of my life here, and I'm grateful that what I'm doing is for a good cause, if not THE cause. So thank you once again.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Tenth Week
So here it is! The eleventh Week! The last week of lecture phase! After this? Outreach all the time in San Francisco, but before we go to that I'm here to say some things about what's been happening in the tenth week. We had our DTS Director, Steven Binnquist talks for Monday and Tuesday, and then we have one of the staff here, Ruthie Kim, to talk.
Steven focused more about the unity of our group and how he felt that the group is slowly being individualistic. I think it's true, because I was convicted by God that I've been trying to isolate myself from other people thinking what's the point of building relationship when I'm not going to see them again. It was something I struggle with for the last two weeks, but it's been better now. I'm trying to get outside and invest to other people, because it turns out that God brought all of us here to be a blessing to each other and if I don't try to get to know people, I'll be missing out on God's blessing. It was even more true when one of our friends had a vision that we're all walking our individual path. In that vision I can see myself as the one being left behind because I don't want anybody with me.
We confessed what we're struggling and I did also. At first I don't want people to know what I'm struggling with because I don't want to burden them, but that perspective soon change. I should let this family of mine knows what I'm struggling with because we'll be walking together and instead of giving my burden to them, we'll pick up each other's burden. That's what family is all about. I'm trying to do a one-on-one with the girls, because it just seems that I barely know anything about them. It's good to know what they're struggling with because it helps me what to pray about.
The scary thing about Wednesday was that Ruthie was talking about how we should stay together as a group and stop walking individually. She didn't even know what we talked about on Monday and Tuesday. It really is from God that He wants us to be united and be transparent to each other.
Ruthie also talked about the life of David. We were looking at the part of David and his sin with Bathsheba. I asked myself why does God leave Saul who sins merely for disobeying and He stays with David when he committed adultery, murdered someone's husband, and be a hypocrite. It just doesn't make sense to me, until I realized that David has the heart of repentance. Not just a normal repenting saying, "Lord forgive me. I won't do it again." That's good too, but David repented like it was the end of the world. He mourned and cried for his sin. He truly repented. It might go something like this: "Oh Lord... I've sinned greatly against You. I'm not worthy to be called Your servant. I'm truly sorry that I've disappointed You. I just ask that You would forgive me and that You would just clean my slate and helped as the days go that You will give me the strength to overcome my temptations." David's repentance is genuine. It's not just an act. He lives it out.
I'm currently rereading the 1 Samuel and 2 Samuel and 1 Kings and 2 Kings. I really want to learn more about David in depth. It seems there's much more than just war and a man after God's own heart. I want to know why he's called a man after God's own heart.
Ministry was stagnant this week. The weather has been cloudy or raining and it's hard to get out the building. We had a community night this friday and it's basically a brief worship night in the building and everybody is welcome. It also gives representation of what YWAM San Francisco has to offer.
I've been learning a lot and I can't wait for outreach already. So much people to be loved. I'm still asking God to break my heart for these people. I just want a compassion for these people. It's still a work in progress, but I can honestly say that I've been willing to change.
Thank you for all the support and prayers. It's been great knowing people back at home is praying for me. I really appreciate it. It's been a good emotional support for me. I thank you once again. I also would love it if you guys have any prayer request. I'll gladly pray for you and intercede. Keep praying for me and have a blessed week.
Steven focused more about the unity of our group and how he felt that the group is slowly being individualistic. I think it's true, because I was convicted by God that I've been trying to isolate myself from other people thinking what's the point of building relationship when I'm not going to see them again. It was something I struggle with for the last two weeks, but it's been better now. I'm trying to get outside and invest to other people, because it turns out that God brought all of us here to be a blessing to each other and if I don't try to get to know people, I'll be missing out on God's blessing. It was even more true when one of our friends had a vision that we're all walking our individual path. In that vision I can see myself as the one being left behind because I don't want anybody with me.
We confessed what we're struggling and I did also. At first I don't want people to know what I'm struggling with because I don't want to burden them, but that perspective soon change. I should let this family of mine knows what I'm struggling with because we'll be walking together and instead of giving my burden to them, we'll pick up each other's burden. That's what family is all about. I'm trying to do a one-on-one with the girls, because it just seems that I barely know anything about them. It's good to know what they're struggling with because it helps me what to pray about.
The scary thing about Wednesday was that Ruthie was talking about how we should stay together as a group and stop walking individually. She didn't even know what we talked about on Monday and Tuesday. It really is from God that He wants us to be united and be transparent to each other.
Ruthie also talked about the life of David. We were looking at the part of David and his sin with Bathsheba. I asked myself why does God leave Saul who sins merely for disobeying and He stays with David when he committed adultery, murdered someone's husband, and be a hypocrite. It just doesn't make sense to me, until I realized that David has the heart of repentance. Not just a normal repenting saying, "Lord forgive me. I won't do it again." That's good too, but David repented like it was the end of the world. He mourned and cried for his sin. He truly repented. It might go something like this: "Oh Lord... I've sinned greatly against You. I'm not worthy to be called Your servant. I'm truly sorry that I've disappointed You. I just ask that You would forgive me and that You would just clean my slate and helped as the days go that You will give me the strength to overcome my temptations." David's repentance is genuine. It's not just an act. He lives it out.
I'm currently rereading the 1 Samuel and 2 Samuel and 1 Kings and 2 Kings. I really want to learn more about David in depth. It seems there's much more than just war and a man after God's own heart. I want to know why he's called a man after God's own heart.
Ministry was stagnant this week. The weather has been cloudy or raining and it's hard to get out the building. We had a community night this friday and it's basically a brief worship night in the building and everybody is welcome. It also gives representation of what YWAM San Francisco has to offer.
I've been learning a lot and I can't wait for outreach already. So much people to be loved. I'm still asking God to break my heart for these people. I just want a compassion for these people. It's still a work in progress, but I can honestly say that I've been willing to change.
Thank you for all the support and prayers. It's been great knowing people back at home is praying for me. I really appreciate it. It's been a good emotional support for me. I thank you once again. I also would love it if you guys have any prayer request. I'll gladly pray for you and intercede. Keep praying for me and have a blessed week.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Ninth Week
It's the ninth week, and there are only two more weeks of lecture phase and we're off to do a full outreach in SF for one month. How amazing is that? Sure there's a lot of bumps, but that's what makes my journey in DTS exhilarating. It keeps me reminded that I don't have control over my life and that God wants to just show that He can get me out of my hardships by His power and not mine.
Well moving on! This week was all about discipleship and its nature. The first thing know about discipleship and probably the hardest is to really understand God's love. It's hard to imagine an unconditional love, because there's no such thing in this world. Sometimes we try so hard to live so God will love us, rather than living because He has already loved us first. The Bible is prove of His love to us. His love is not just a story in the Bible, it's THE story. It's basically about how humans is rejecting His plans and God keeps trying to reach out to us.
Discipleship should be a transformational process by which we learn how to live, act, and think like Jesus. It's not a "sometimes" thing. It's an ongoing process. One quote that stuck to me this whole week is, "Our direction, not our intention, will determine our destination." BAM! I probably wouldn't forget that anytime soon or later. We can have so much good intentions, but it doesn't matter unless we do it. Whatever we're doing for God won't last long unless there's an intimacy with God, because that's what will sustain us. Our desire and love would only last so short.
Everybody knows the story of David and Goliath. In a part of the story Saul questioned David's strength and David answers something about being in the pasture taking care of his sheep and a lion came and he tore that lion apart with his bare hands and the same goes with the bear. The point of the story? Before we start defeating our giants, we need to deal with our lions and bears first.
Okay... that's what I got this week. Now to ministry... My friend and I did a prayer walk around the Castro, which is said to be the central of the homosexual community in SF. Prayer walk can seem so pointless, because people think it's just a prayer. My friend and I got our hearts re-broken by God. We walked around being silent asking God what to pray about and God just starts revealing us what He wants us to ask of Him. We prayed for restoration, whether it's hurt, family, or their self-image. We also prayed for the restoration of an image of Christians in their mind. Statistics says that people tend to think Christians are judgmental. Nobody is to be blamed for that, but pray for the restoration of the image of Christians if you will.
God has put this in my heart for a while. I came to DTS at first hoping to change and transform the city. My thinking was completely wrong at that time and I learned that my ministry is not to save people and to redeem them. That's God's job. My job? It's simply to love them like how God would love them. This city just needs to be loved and if we don't do it then who will? God wants to use us and the simplest thing we can do is to love people. You'll be amazed how much you can change a person with just love.
I guess that's all for this week. I will be updating all of you again next week. Thank you for reading and please keep praying for me and also for the support. I miss you all back home. I miss Indonesian food. I miss eating rice everyday. So yeah... Don't take those for granted. Have a blessed week.
Well moving on! This week was all about discipleship and its nature. The first thing know about discipleship and probably the hardest is to really understand God's love. It's hard to imagine an unconditional love, because there's no such thing in this world. Sometimes we try so hard to live so God will love us, rather than living because He has already loved us first. The Bible is prove of His love to us. His love is not just a story in the Bible, it's THE story. It's basically about how humans is rejecting His plans and God keeps trying to reach out to us.
Discipleship should be a transformational process by which we learn how to live, act, and think like Jesus. It's not a "sometimes" thing. It's an ongoing process. One quote that stuck to me this whole week is, "Our direction, not our intention, will determine our destination." BAM! I probably wouldn't forget that anytime soon or later. We can have so much good intentions, but it doesn't matter unless we do it. Whatever we're doing for God won't last long unless there's an intimacy with God, because that's what will sustain us. Our desire and love would only last so short.
Everybody knows the story of David and Goliath. In a part of the story Saul questioned David's strength and David answers something about being in the pasture taking care of his sheep and a lion came and he tore that lion apart with his bare hands and the same goes with the bear. The point of the story? Before we start defeating our giants, we need to deal with our lions and bears first.
Okay... that's what I got this week. Now to ministry... My friend and I did a prayer walk around the Castro, which is said to be the central of the homosexual community in SF. Prayer walk can seem so pointless, because people think it's just a prayer. My friend and I got our hearts re-broken by God. We walked around being silent asking God what to pray about and God just starts revealing us what He wants us to ask of Him. We prayed for restoration, whether it's hurt, family, or their self-image. We also prayed for the restoration of an image of Christians in their mind. Statistics says that people tend to think Christians are judgmental. Nobody is to be blamed for that, but pray for the restoration of the image of Christians if you will.
God has put this in my heart for a while. I came to DTS at first hoping to change and transform the city. My thinking was completely wrong at that time and I learned that my ministry is not to save people and to redeem them. That's God's job. My job? It's simply to love them like how God would love them. This city just needs to be loved and if we don't do it then who will? God wants to use us and the simplest thing we can do is to love people. You'll be amazed how much you can change a person with just love.
I guess that's all for this week. I will be updating all of you again next week. Thank you for reading and please keep praying for me and also for the support. I miss you all back home. I miss Indonesian food. I miss eating rice everyday. So yeah... Don't take those for granted. Have a blessed week.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Second Month/ Eighth Week
So It's officially two months. Can't believe I haven't seen you guys for a complete two months. Sorry for anything that I didn't reply during the week. I was fasting any social networking such as Facebook, Twitter, and etc. I was surprised at how much time you can use to just use it just to be still and quiet in the presence of the Lord. No music. Just be quiet and still and enjoy His presence and what He's been doing. Even if you're in the storm of life, enjoy God's presence and you will see through the storm there's God in the midst of it.
This week was all about transparency. About being humble. The meaning of humility is to be known for who you really are. No hiding behind our walls of life. As humans we lean more towards rejection than acceptance. As an example... When I finished a performance there will be compliments coming, but one time a person criticizes it and guess what stuck to me? The criticism. As humans we can be a people pleaser sometimes and that distracts us from who we're really supposed to please. We don't need to please anybody other than God and to please God doesn't take much. Just take off your time and just dwell in His presence and do His will.
During classes we were challenged to reveal our darkest secrets/sins that we've done in the past and haven't dealt with. Imagine that! I was feeling squeamish, but I eventually came out in the front and confesses what I've done. It felt good to just take off that mask that's been in the way of seeing God face to face, but another thing I learn about confession and forgiveness is that it's not a one-time thing. It's a process and an on-going thing. We should ask ourselves every time we have the chance what the Holy Spirit wants you to fix in your life or what to deal in your life. No matter how small it is, ask for forgiveness if you feel convicted. It might be a small thing to you, but it's big enough to bug your conscience.
I was alone and was asking the Holy Spirit the same thing and one that stuck out to me was to ask forgiveness to my brother and to forgive him. I have a jealousy towards him how he does so good in school and I don't at all. I also asked for forgiveness towards him for not being a good example as a big brother and it would be my biggest regret for not being a good big brother. And good thing he forgave me. What a relief.
We had a homeless friend of ours who receives Jesus Christ. We never really evangelized to him, but the way we live our life was enough to show God's love to him. It was a good experience to just witness that God's love can change somebody's life through our life. God is just so great for doing that.
A lot has been going on for me and I would appreciate it if you guys would keep me in your prayer. Thank you so much for everything. The emotional support especially. I love you all and I hope you all have a blessed week.
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